I stole that line from The Big Bang Theory, (a television show I love, by the way), and it was in response to contradicting a fictional Facebook status update about who broke up with whom in a relationship.
I blame it all on my iPad. It used to be that all my internet activity was reserved for sitting at my desk, in front of my keyboard. There is just something far more productive and active about sitting at a computer. My computer time involves looking up a bit of news, checking my email, and a quick peek at Facebook, (which I digest as a form of news about people I actually know). Then there is work for my job to do, mostly computerized, homework for whatever current class I’m taking eight months out of the year, and maybe even an entry for my blog once and a while. Not to mention the hope that someday I will get back to working on my second novel, if I can just manage my computer time more efficiently.
Now, after reading numerous novels on my iPad, I’ve started to waste a bunch of my time ‘reading’ the internet with it. If I’ve finished a novel and I’m not sure which one I want to start next, I go looking for something to read on the net, which is just too convenient with my iPad, as it somehow follows me from room to room like a puppy wanting attention. And all of a sudden, I’m looking to Facebook to entertain me, not just update me with news.
Facebook on my iPad has turned out to be a far more passive activity than when I actually sit at my desk computer with a keyboard. I just touch the ‘like’ button every once in a while and rarely add any comments, mostly because I’m in bed or on the couch with one hand holding the iPad, leaving only one hand with which to type. Typing with one hand sounds like too much work. Thanks Mark, the ‘like’ button is a brilliant yet simplistic way for me to say “I was here” and nothing more.
Facebook status updates are always too happy, or too dramatic. Either way, they seem just a little too over the top to be genuine. Or worse, they are cryptic, which normally invites readers to use the comments section to ask questions about said cryptic status, (except that doesn’t work for me unless Zuckerberg adds more buttons I can just touch with one finger). So, I just don’t think people tell the truth on Facebook. And even if it’s close to the truth like “I feel crappy today,” there is no reason to share that unless you want someone to respond to it. And then let’s face it, that’s not real, because that is not how you perceive your life. That is how you perceive your life compared to what other people think (or in this case, what other people comment or don’t comment).
Giving up on Facebook, I then go looking for blogs to tell me real life stories that will read like a novel. When I want to read a blog, I want to hear about real life issues, personal histories, writing struggles, (or anything really). So, in the spirit of what is real, here’s the nitty gritty stuff, the stuff I, myself, go looking for in a blog. I feel pressure to get something done with my manuscript this summer, before I go back to school in the fall (and then get distracted by Medieval Lit, and then an Honours Seminar in Children’s Fiction). I need to do something about it, and now. I even know someone who apparently knows the ins and outs of the .epub world, so no more excuses, right? But the more pressure I feel to do it, the less I want to do anything. Yet I need to send the email to the person in question, and get the ball rolling.
But, in the mean time, I’m still waiting for my final marks to come in from the university, so maybe I’ll just use that as an excuse to put off sending that email just a little bit longer.